When my son was born, I asked my mother, what makes a good parent. She had smiled and said, ‘you will know.’ The first time, mother in me was very confused by that statement. But, with every small milestone, that our son achieves, I understand how true that statement is. Yes, it is a lot about how you envisage yourself as a parent.
Are you a hands-on parent or do you like to let your kids fend for themselves? Do you think discipline is more important or do you give in to their demand? Are your children scared of you or do they confide in you?
Well, good parenting is often a balance between all these factors. It makes your child value the relationship and yet respect. It makes them self-reliant, understanding and compassionate. The quality of parenting is often interlinked with the kind of person we are. Therefore, just accept your child the way they are. You must make sure you facilitate their complete growth.
What Makes a Good Parent
1. You Must Know the Art of Saying No
If you ask me a factor what makes a good parent, I would say it is how well you can master saying no. I look back at my childhood as a balanced one. Though I don’t ever remember my parents saying no to anything, I remember I did not have my way all the time. Well, there lies the magic of saying no.
We never followed orders as children. My parents involved us in the decision making process. If we put up a request, they would share the pros and cons and guided us to decide the best course of action. The result, they never gave in to all our tantrums, yet we never grew up feeling deprived. Striking this balance is very important.
2. Show Unconditional Love
However, it is always important to show your unconditional love to your child. Often an expression of love is more than sufficient. When my son did not win any medal at the school sports day, all I had to do was hug him tight. I wanted to let him know that participation was important. I wanted him to develop the ideal sportsman spirit. Life is full of such ups and downs, and only your unconditional love can help them overcome these. Your unconditional love is what makes a good parent.
3. Help Deal with Failure
Therefore, it won’t be wrong if I say balancing success with failure is what makes a good parent. Empower your child to embrace failure as well as success. While it is alright to motivate, avoid pushing them to succeed. Don’t undermine their self-esteem. Always let them know it is fine to lose at times. This will help your kids deal with failure in a comprehensive fashion.
4. Share Joy
A parenting manual will give you plenty of tips about good parenting. But I feel that one deciding factor, what makes a good parent, is your ability to share the joy. The house should exude positivity, and your kids must look forward to coming home. The only way you can make this happen is by sharing the joy. Create a cheerful and harmonious atmosphere at home. Make sure that your children and spouse remain happy. Only then, kids will be able to share this happiness outside.
5. Avoid Comparison
Stop comparing your child to the neighbors or your cousins or even classmates. It can shatter their self-confidence and make them unsure about their abilities. This is a major concern; always protect your child from such eventuality. This will give them the confidence to take up any challenge. It definitely represents what makes a good parent.
6. Draw Strength from Family Bonds
Strong parenting is also about strong family bonds. The kind of relationship that you share with your spouse is very crucial. You must always remember that your kids are watching you and this has a bearing on their behavior. Kids from a strong marriage are secure and extremely self-reliant. They are cheerful and can spread joy. Therefore, make sure your spouse and you work on your relationship.
Therefore, we can say that parenting is all about instilling the right kind of value system in your child. More than being successful, they need to become independent and self-confident. The success of your parenting is well borne out by how your children deal with life. You must help them to become honest and straightforward and capable of taking care of them.
For this, you must be attentive, caring and shower your unconditional love on them. They must be able to seek strength from you and confide their fears with you. Do not ridicule them or subject them to any kind of comparison. Lead them to help realize their best potential.